$20000 out and an STD to Boot

A woman wrote to a counselor, asking for advice on her divorce from a husband who had been cheating with escorts.

Calling herself Sad, she talked about how she found out that her husband, who she had stayed with for more than twenty years, had been using teenage ‘ escorts’  who had found online. She goes on to say how he had used more than twenty thousand dollars in pursuit of the escorts. She went for an STD test and found out that he had even wound up giving her a sexually transmitted disease. She says that she feels sick to the stomach because of her husband had done. This made her to call for Divorce after STD.

All the money went to fund his terrible behavior

The couple has two children together. The woman claims that her spouse rarely spends enough on her and their children and that he mostly used the money that was meant for college tuition to fund his horrible behavior.

She explained how she had to endure through a very bad Christmas while trying to keep up appearances. She tried to behave the same all through the Christmas while her husband was completely withdrawn. She also expresses the fear that the children may have noticed this.

She tells the counselor with certainty that she is going to get a divorce. Her problem is that she wants to have a court battle while her husband wants mediation. She goes on to say that she realizes that mediation is less expensive and more private. A court battle will expose everything and that would not be a good idea. She asks our counselor for help on whether to choose a court battle or mediation.

Fight for financial reparation

The counselor tells Sad that for one to have a court battle; one must have a legal issue to fight. She advises her to consult a lawyer then goes on to tell her that not all states will give her legal grounds for Divorce after STD as far as her husband's infidelity and giving her an STD is concerned. States that have' fault' divorces will favor her while those with ‘non-fault' marriages will not.

She also informs her that she cannot sue for custody since the children are old enough. The difference between a ‘fault’ and ‘non-fault’ divorce the grounds of divorce where in the first case the one suing blames their spouse for divorce while the second case has none blamed for the divorce. Some states with ‘non-fault’ divorce include Wisconsin, Washington, Oregon, Nevada and many others. However, she tells her that she can comfortably sue her husband for giving an STD.

She also tells her how expensive court battles are and underlines the fact that ‘Sad' does not want to have things spilling out into the public. She may want some sort of satisfaction because of what she has been through.      

The final advice? To think of a financial settlement and if she can’t think have any terms, then she should settle for a court battle. She tells Sad that she needs to understand that true satisfaction will only come for the choices she makes for herself.